Hideous News Items Should NOT Be Confused With S/M or D/s

Two recent news items have sent ripples across the National Football League. They have also spawned ignorant and upsetting comments from people who simply do not understand the topics at hand.

We can find no shortage of news copy about Ray Rice, running back for the Baltimore Ravens, who was suspended initially for two games and subsequently for an indefinite period of time. The disciplinary action came in response to an altercation with his then-fiancee, now wife, Janay Palmer. The couple have a two-year-old daughter, Rayven.

In a widely circulated tweet, Janay Rice told the world, "I woke up this morning feeling like I had a horrible nightmare, feeling like I'm mourning the death of my closest friend. But to have to accept the fact that it's reality is a nightmare in itself. No one knows the pain that the media & unwanted options from the public has caused my family. To make us relive a moment in our lives that we regret every day is a horrible thing. To take something away from the man I love that he has worked his ass of for all his life just to gain ratings is horrific. THIS IS OUR LIFE! What don't you all get. If your intentions were to hurt us, embarrass us, make us feel alone, take all happiness away, you've succeeded on so many levels. Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is! Ravensnation we love you!"

A blog of this sort is not the proper forum whereon to debate the actions (or inactions) of National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell, the motives of Ray and Janay Rice, or the frequency of domestic assault by professional athletes. Rather, I wish to address various pundits whose responses to Janay Rice's tweet reflect a profound ignorance of what is commonly lumped together as BDSM.

Some people have (soberly?) observed that Janay Palmer was the fiancee of Raymell Rice at the time of the incident, and has since become his wife. Their argument is that this was effectively an issue between "consenting adults," and that since she has not pressed charges, the matter should be treated no differently than anything similar that might arise in an S/M relationship.

Sadly, they miss the point completely. The couple quarreled; cameras clearly caught some sort of disagreement as they walked to the elevator. One might speculate -- as did a commentator on National Public Radio this morning -- that the running back did not wish to strike his fiancee in the hallway, where they would be visible, but perhaps assumed he could do so with impunity once the elevator doors were closed (i.e., that he did not realize he was still on camera). This, too, is beside the point. The issue is that a 200-plus pound man struck a woman in the head and caused her to suffer a concussion. She was "out cold," unconscious.

Countless victims of abuse have remained with their abusers; this is a well-known fact. Moreover, many suspect our legal system gives "All-Pro" athletes a clear advantage (cf., the O. J. Simpson murder trial). We cannot hope to know why Janay Palmer Rice tweeted. What we do know is that this was clearly not an example of "rough sex." A boxer who suffered similar injury might well feel the effects years later. This was nothing less than a brutal assault, and must be recognized as such.

A second case has arisen -- one that is in many ways even more disturbing. Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson has been indicted on charges of child abuse; he apparently punished his four-year-old son with "switches" -- i.e., tree branches. For some perverse reason, the Peterson case has apparently invited comparison to "flogging" or "caning." This is again hopelessly off the mark. One might suggest that a parent who would inflict a beating of this magnitude on a four-year-old child has a "sadistic" streak, but such depravity is decidedly not part of the lifestyle.

Bottom line: One may argue that some sadists are psychopaths and sociopaths, and one can surely find psychopaths and sociopaths who are also sadists. However, let us describe these two tragic incidents properly -- as egregious examples of abusive and uncontrolled violence.