Domination and monogamy

Another question which I have been asked concerns my use of the plural: "subs." I shall be brief in the explanation. When romantically involved -- and I am not, at the moment -- I am strictly monogamous. However, this choice does not preclude the possibility of a non-sexual involvement. Moreover, there are certainly subs whom I see quite infrequently. [One visited me only four times over the course of a year, while another saw me no more than once a month.] Thus, I devoutly hope the reader will not jump to erroneous conclusions, and will instead have faith that I keep no "harem." I prefer to think of myself as a "therapist" of sorts -- a Dom who sees very few clients, but may certainly accept more than one at a time.

on the nature of "cerebral Domination"

One question which often arises is whether sex is always necessary in a D/s relationship. I’m still a little uncertain, but I believe firmly that it is not. For example, when I first meet a sub -- when I deal with someone who wishes to “explore” her submissiveness, or even someone who is relatively inexperienced -- I prefer to establish ground rules. I feel that it is FAR more important for the sub to understand the nature of our interpersonal relationship -- i. e., what I expect, and why. I stress that I am not a cold-hearted, exploitative person taking advantage of what she permits me to do. On the contrary, I am very nurturing and supportive, and genuinely want the experience to be a rewarding one for her. Some subs have had major improvements with their academic studies, advanced their careers, enjoyed creative breakthroughs, and even enhanced their interpersonal relationships as a result of their involvements with me. In turn, I have genuinely enjoyed these relationships, whether or not the sexual act has figured into the equation.
Though all of this sounds very generous and noble, I should also admonish the reader that I am unlikely to be canonized after my death. Arguably, I play my own share of games. Some critics may feel that I lure in certain weaker souls and bend them to my will. Ultimately, however, I have never -- NEVER -- taken advantage of any situation without the full consent of the woman in question. She has surrendered to me, exactly as I knew she would. That I have, on some occasions, exploited her apparent weakness to achieve this end is an undeniable truth. I believe I have had every right to use everything at my disposal to achieve my ends, and that these ends have justified the means taken to attain them. Moreover, I have never crossed the line into abuse, and I have yet to hear from any sub that she got less out of our relationship than I did.
Cerebral Domination, therefore, refers to the way I “get into her head”; how I find the weaknesses and use them to make the sub more submissive. Reduced to the simplest terms, there are things which I (as the Dom) should like a sub to do. Initially, she will do something because I ask (or “order”) her to do it; perhaps later, because she knows it will please me. However, with cerebral Domination, she will do the things I want her to do because she now wants to do them, also. This concept completely revises the old saying, “Your wish is my command”; at this level, the Dom and the sub wish the same thing. And -- strangely enough -- such cerebral tactics do not reduce a sub to the level of a poor, mindless zombie. In fact, my subs invariably become far stronger, rather than weaker; more active, rather than passive. To underscore this argument, I shall close with an excerpt from an e-mail one woman sent me:
“Dearest Don -- I know this sounds weird, but after our last few sessions I feel more empowered than ever. I know that I am now a stronger person, and above all a stronger woman, as a result of meeting you and studying with you. You are a true teacher. Love always, -- J”